here's a collection of quotes i've picked upthe
bolded quotes are the ones i'm rather fond of.
the following are taken from the collection at
fontgarden.com+ the trouble with work is... it's so daily
+ pardon me waiter, but i like my water diluted
+ courage is a virtue - corduroy is a fabric
+ if things get any worse, i'll have to ask you to stop helping me
+ sticks and stones may break my boones, but words will make me go into a corner and cry by myself for hours
+ a day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
+ good generally conquers evil. unless, of course, good is stupid.
+ taxation with representation isn't so hot, either.
+ inside every short man is a tall man doubled over in pain.
+ in case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
+ there are two times i feel stress - day and night.
+ statistics show that every two minutes another statistic is created
+ it is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
+ Charlie was a chemist, but Charlie is no more. what Charlie thought was H
20 was H
2SO
4+ socialism and fascism are for people who like their dictatorships obvious.
+
reality can be beaten with enough imagination+ money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.
+ you do not need a parachute to skydive. you only need a parachute to skydive twice.
+ a steak a day keeps the cows dead
+ it's been lovely but i must scream now.
+ rap is to music as etch-a-sketch is to art.
+
may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
- George Carlin
+ beware the fury of a patient woman
+ love: an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage
+
after all is said and done, usually more is said.+ life is unsure. always eat your dessert first.
+ three can keep a secret, if two are dead.
+ everything is okay in the end. if its not okay then it's not the end.
+ anything not nailed down is mine. anything i can pry loose is not nailed down.
+ whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there in the room talking to you, which is why i don't like to read good books.
+ "go, and never darken my towels, again"
- Groucho, in "Duck Soup"
+
great minds discuss ideas. average minds discuss events. small minds discuss people.+ if knees were backward, what would chairs look like?
+ how do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
+ people who think they're perfect are very annoying to those of us who really are.
+
due to financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished.
+ why are they called buildings when they are already finished? shouldn't they be called builts?
+ for mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
+ sure, the truth hurts, but so does a machete.
+
if you can't beat 'em, arrange to have them beaten.+ monday is an aweful way to spend 1/7
th of your life.
+
a diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
- Caskie Stinnett
+ the heart of a fool is in his mouth. but the mouth of a wise man is in his heart.
+ help beautify our dumps - throw away something pretty.
+ probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. forget it little friend.
+ if ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
+ i've developed a new philosophy... i only dread one day at a time.
- Charlie Brown
+ don't cry over spilt milk, it makes it salty for the cats.
+ artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
+ when you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
+ follow your dream! unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
+ when your dreams turn to dust, vacuum.
+ what happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
+ laugh and the world laughs with you. cry and the world laughs louder.
+ it's kind of depressing when the bartender knows your name... when you haven't been to his bar.
+ do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
+ te audire no possum. musa sapientum fixa est in aure. ( i can't hear you. i have a banana in my ear. )
+ a life - cool - where can i download one of those from?
+ cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
+ i considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
+ i just got lost in thought... it was unfamiliar territory.
+ today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday!
+ any man who knows all the answers most likely misunderstood the questions.
+ eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow they may cancel your visa.
+ sex is hereditary. if your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
+ a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
+ how do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
+
despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
+ i always win except when i lose. but then i just don't count it.
+ poets have been curiously silent on the subject of cheese
- G. K. Chesterton
+ there are few problems that can't be solved with high explosives.
+ light travels faster than sound. this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
+ the truth is out there? does anyone know the url?
+ stealing a rhinoceros should not be attempted lightly.
+ save time... see it my way.
+ toast
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threeofdiamond so please friend me again via this new account!! 
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